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User blog:Aichomancer/The End?
As Orange Knight walked up the stairs, of the Orange Tower, he violently wiped his mouth off with his hand. "That was the most disgusting thing that ever happened to me. It was so gross that not even Green, Red, and Blue were laughing!" He stated as he maintained his ascension. As he walked past the door to the Orange Princess' room, he just barely heard a muffled scream. "What the hell? I thought that clown bastard was still doing her stupid dance." Red walked up behind him, "I'm still shocked about what happened," He said, "We've been best buddies since forever so if you need to talk about that traumatic experience or anything just gimme a hollar." "Okay but am I hearing things?" Orange asked, "If my ears don't fail me, then I hear struggling in there." "Now that you mention it, yes I can." The two cracked the door open, only to see that the only light was coming from the half closed window. "I think I'm going insane," Orange Knight concluded. "Nah it got louder; let's take a closer look." Red Knight pushed the door all the way open, only to notice two figures; he shot lightning at the floor to create light, and one of the figures bolted. Orange Knight lit a fireball in his hand to provide Red Knight with some light. As soon as he did, Red Knight saw the figure, and he attempted to shock them, but they were too quick. The figure kicked Red Knight in the midsection, immobilizing him for the next 15 seconds. "SWEET JESUS MOTHER RIGHT IN THE F***ING-" Red Knight shouted, then the figure hit Orange Knight on the back of the head, knocking him unconscious. Red Knight had recovered, only to be kicked square in the midsection yet again "SON OF A TIE-DYE PLATYPUS THAT WAS A CHEAP SHOT!" then they for no explicable reason smacked Orange Knight in the back of the head again. By the time Red Knight had recovered again, he'd been through enough already. When the figure came up to him this time, he grabbed their arms before they could destroy his pride again, and pinned them against the wall. "Who the hell are you?" Red Knight asked. A woman's voice replied, "I'm Tricky, we've met before. By the way, my legs are still free." Tricky once again kicks Red Knight in his tender area, and then she slugs Orange Knight in the head again for good measure, or at least tries to; Orange Knight woke up and caught her fist. She ran away but is stopped by Red Knight, whose pride is currently smaller than the period at the end of this sentence. "Sh*t!" She says as orange knight lights up the area. "Wait hold on, where's that ugly clown bastard?" Red Knight asks " I'm that 'Ugly clown bastard' thank you very much," Tricky said. "Wut de fook m8 how did you go from that ugly f*** to being a hot chick?" Red Knight asks as he notices her lack of white makeup, normal hair, and slender frame, "are you a cross dresser?" "AM I A CROSS DRESSER?" At this Tricky is genuinely upset, and makes sure that Red Knight knows by giving him three "extreme love taps" in a row using her foot, "I MUST BE POOR, BECAUSE I CAN'T FEEL MY JEWELS!" then she slammed the two into eachother by their heads, and knocked them both out. After red knight recovered from his initial shock, he realized he had a bulge on his midsection. "dang is it even possible to get a bruise that big?" he said. He touches it, to see if it hurts, but it's not the two organs he'd originally expected to find bulging out that far. "dang is it even possible to get a bruise that big?" he said. Red knight looks at blue knight, then at green knight, then at orange knight then down at his hand, and immediately says, "I-IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK AT ALL IT'S JUST THAT I THOUGHT IT WAS A BRUISE, AND-" "Red, you've had a dick for the whole 18 years we've been alive. Do you really thing a bulge that big was a fucking bruise?" green knight asked. "What the hell are you talking about?" Orange knight asks, waking up, "I can't stand three dicks in a moist private area having a cock fight over my sleeping body." "Well SORRY for 'coming inside of your moist private area' with my dick to have a cock fight" said blue knight. "well I'm going to go see if the second silhouetted figure is still in the room since tricky left" said orange knight. "oh, tricky, I'm gonna come. I MEAN I'll go with you orange" said red knight. "well I'll be a monkey's uncle" says orange knight. "Ooh oah eeh eh" (monkey for "you will?"). Orange knight turns around to find a small monkey with a baseball cap, bat, glove, and ball. "Well SORRY for 'coming inside of your moist private area' with my dick to have a cock fight" said Blue Knight. "Is that really you, orange?" a female voice says. "FUCK HER RIGHT IN THE PUSSY!" Red Knight says "the monkey? And for the record, it's a boy" "EW, NO, GROSS, I MEANT THAT GIRL WHO WAS TALKING TO YOU" "YEAH, FUCK THAT STUPID ASS MONKEY," Orange Knight shouts as he body chucks the monkey out the window 200 feet to its death. "HOLEH SHET NUGGETS IT'S ORANGETTE!" "IF THERE'S ANYONE COMING INTO A MOIST PRIVATE AREA, IT'S ME" However unexpectedly, Tricky the Clown pops through the window. But it's not enough to catch Red Knight off guard this time. Orange Knight says "Red, she's a great carpenter; she made your banana stand! So Red Knight, still on top of his game, yet excited nonetheless, grabs her wrists and pins them against the wall "you made the same mistake as before" Tricky said, but Red Knight wasn't paying attention, because he'd noticed she was wearing a low cut top. *whock whock whock* "THOSE WERE CHEAP SHOTS I WAS DISTRACTED" he said "and whose fault would that be" she said "BUT YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE OF THE FACT THAT WHILE YOU'RE MAKING MY BANANA STAND MY COCONUTS ARE EXTRA VULNERABLE!" But tricky ignores him. *whock* As he leans forward, tricky reassumes her title of master of surprise. She lifts up red knight's helmet and kisses him. He remains there struggling between the joy he feels and the agony from his mid quarters. Tricky shoves orange knight through the door, and green knight rushes in to assess the situation, only to have tricky chuck a rock at his genitals, grab the orange princess, and leap out the window. "NO TRICKY DON'T LEAVE YET" red knight says as he leaps out the window after her. Tricky and the orange princess were fortunate enough to land in a water tower, but red knight landed on the fence next to it... The chain link fence the fencers built for king as payment for eliminating phillipe the tyrant. Red knight falls off of the fence onto the ground and curls into a ball. Tricky climbs over the top of the water tower soaking wet to the point that her clingy dress is see through. Red knight looks up and says "now that's a perfect view if I ain't ever seen one. Now I can at least I'll die with a raging boner". Tricky realizes this, and covers the bottom of her dress, which had previously left her tidbits completely exposed to red knight's view without any obstruction whatsoever. However she slipped, and fell, and her dress gets caught on the ladder by the collar, forcing her to reach up and pull at the front of her collar to keep from choking, re-exposing her lower body to red knight yet again. Red knight can't resist the urges he feels and does his best to scoot over to the bottom of the ladder. He had planned to be a gentleman and help her down but he was in a great deal of pain, and instead found himself just gazing up at the vista of true serenity. Eventually the orange princess got it of the tower and tried to help her, but achieved undesirable side effects. The dress simply ripped open, causing tricky to fall without a thread of clothing, with red knight's groin cushioning her fall miraculously. The other three knights jump out the window, Blue Knight freezes a platform for them with the water from the water tower, but orange melts a hole through and falls on his face on the ground. Green knight slips and falls on the chain link fence. Red knight can't resist the urges he feels and does his best to scoot over to the bottom of the ladder. When they reach a secluded part of the forest, tricky knocks the orange princess out, and shoves her in the bushes, out of sight, somehow without red knight noticing. She yanks the tunic off and says "I don't need it anymore, and begins stretching in very curious ways. Red knight's excitement meter goes off the charts as he puts his tunic back on. Tricky grabs a bucket and hands it to red knight, saying "go fetch some water from the river" and yanks his tunic off. "you won't want this getting soaked". He leaves, noticing that this is her home. While he's gone, she takes the orange princess and hides her with the other three princesses. He notices several thieves following him, and he turns and shocks them all. "I had no idea it was THIS forest". He collects the water and brings it back, and she begins boiling it. She takes several sausages from her ice box and adds them to the pail, causing red knight to shudder. He sits down on a sofa inside of her house, and begins to to relax. She sits on the other end, and begins using is groin as a foot rest, but she's not violent about it, which raises a red flag. She's reaching her arms behind her her head, and pushing her chest out in front of her, trying to find a comfortable spot on her end of the sofa. Immediately he loses his train of thought and leers at her spheres. Checks her cha chas. Views her valley. Gazes at her grapefruits. Grapefruit... Immediately red knight is taken back to a time when he and the other three knights were growing up. He was very hungry, and he grabbed the last two grapefruits for breakfast. Suddenly he realizes that his hands have seized the two grapefruits. "Oh my, well don't try to eat them or anything, because at this rate it seems like you might actually try it". "WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?" Red Knight asked. "that's what I'm wondering" said tricky. "I was just thinking about grapefruits from when I was a kid" he said "so are you hungry for something?" she said winking. "not really" he said "do you want to squeeze for the sake of squeezing?" she said moving her chest toward him "honestly no" "then what?" "I just like grapefruit" *whock* NOT COMPLETED YET Category:Blog posts